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Contents
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Recovery
Program Japanese Page |
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Daisuke |
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| 36 year old Cough Medicine, Painkiller & Alcohol Abuser | |||||||||||
| Interview : 22 / 4 / 2002 | |||||||||||
| The reason I started drugs. | |||||||||||
| In the beginning I took over the counter cough medicine out of curiosity at the age of about 18. I do not remember unfortunately where I heard that drinking cough medicine made you feel good, maybe from a magazine. Personally I had a problem with alcohol first. I began drinking more heavily than friends while at University. When I drank heavily with friends I didn't feel bad but often fell unconscious and caused a lot of trouble for my friends. I then started to drink alone. I was sent to hospital for medical treatment for alcohol dependence and often heard about AA ( Alcoholics Anonymous ), went to Minowa Mac and that's when I realized I had a problem, I was an alcoholic. After leaving hospital I stopped drinking . I got married and had a home but divorced 3 years later and began to use drugs although I had been clean of alcohol and drugs for some time. It may have been that I was lonely. | |||||||||||
| Relations with my Family. | |||||||||||
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I have a father, mother and younger sister. I thought my relationship with my family was comparatively good, but maybe it was only myself who thought like that. I only used commercially available cough medicine and painkillers but never illegal drugs. However I had a loan of 1,300,000 yen from a loan company which my parents paid for me which caused a lot of trouble between us. All my debts were from buying drugs and at the worst point was drinking 3 or 4 boxes of cough medicine containing 85 tablets at once. It contained a lot of caffeine so it became impossible to sleep, so I started taking over the counter painkillers to help me sleep. My parents found out about my debts and used this opportunity to try and recover. I told my parents honestly that it was impossible to stop taking drugs and was hospitalized for 3 months. I was in a dormitory in an Institution in Yokohama after leaving hospital which lead to the recovery program. My mother also attended the family meetings, where they suggested she and I become more independent and try and do our own thing. So when I see my mother at seminars we don't talk to each other much but I think my parents believe in me and support me in overcoming my illness. |
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| Relapse Experience. | |||||||||||
| Once you are addicted to drugs it is very difficult to stop. Illegal drugs carry heavy penalties and act as a deterrent, but over the counter drugs don't carry any punishment, so I could buy as much as I wanted in the local pharmacy without drawing anyone's attention. I think that's why I experienced a relapse and started using drugs again. When I was in the dormitory in Yokohama I started a part time job after 3 months and found a full time job after only 8 months. I was happy to be out of the dormitory and this time went well for me. Maybe I tried too hard and 3 months later relapsed back into drug use. I returned to the dormitory but things did not go well for me. I stayed within the dorm, attended meetings but felt very stressed and once more relapsed after drinking alcohol. The Yokohama facility director recommended I move to APARI. Since then 5 months have passed and I haven't touched any drugs or alcohol. When I first started at APARI I felt sad, that I had to start the program again from the beginning, but in this natural and remote environment I can focus on rehabilitation which I believe suits me better. So now I am living a relatively calm and serene life. | |||||||||||
| About the meetings. | |||||||||||
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If I was honest I didn't like the meetings. Originally I tended to act alone and was not really a friendly type of person. I did't like talking with people and didn't like listening to others stories either. Every time I attended the meetings, when I was nominated to speak I thought my story would bore others and couldn't continue. The meetings lasted for an hour and a half and I became bored immediately, although I now participate at a pace that is comfortable for me. I understand the importance of the meetings well. My relapse was caused by not coming to meetings because I was too busy. I felt rushed and thought the program didn't suit me, or that I couldn't recover and return to society. I feel relieved attending the meetings now and all those internal conflicts can be released. I was in pain because I held too many things inside me and my addiction fed on this. |
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| About the Agricultural Work Program. | |||||||||||
| The garden area we had been working on was completed this month at last, with the cooperation of a friend and the staff. We are growing Chinese Cabbage, Japanese Radish, and tomatoes. Since the area was covered with stones it took some time and effort. We moved aside the stones, dug troughs, planted vegetables and staked out the land. It was slow, hard work to move aside the stones and sort the pebbles. So as not to get too physically tired I took my time. My friend made organic fertilizer using kitchen waste. The first harvest was of Chinese cabbage which took 2 months to grow, I was happy. People say I am trying very hard but not really. The reason I started was because I was asked by the staff to do something but was not eager. I felt I had a lot of time so didn't mind. I liked working the land, it is better than doing nothing, I can say that agricultural activity has become my happiness instead of drugs easily. Whatever I did before, when my illness was severe I was not able to enjoy but have turned around now. Talking honestly, I didn't enjoy taking drugs, I couldn't keep myself and that's why I took drugs. If I had a hobby I wouldn't be like that, but I didn't have anything that interested me. I am glad the garden is completed, I have a feeling of achievement that I have cleared the area of stones and that there is something there now that wasn't there before. The staff in the institutes position isn't to force people to do things, so they didn't force me to do it. I became interested and did it voluntarily. | |||||||||||
| The good thing about APARI. | |||||||||||
| The silence is good, it is a serene environment where you can look deep into yourself. In order for a person like me to recover it is better to have my own time. I do not like being with friends all the time. Now I live in a twin room, but my room mate Mr. R is a calm person. If I think about when I used to be rushing around, doing drugs and then more rushing I simply couldn't concentrate on work. I really appreciate this facility giving this environment. Now I am calm and can concentrate on recovery. | |||||||||||